Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
