I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
