And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
