your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I think my moral compass just broke
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
