So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
