If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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