mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize