Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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