i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
