Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you win again, gameday.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
