At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
