im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
