why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
