fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
two words: eviction party
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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