Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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