end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
