hotel room ftw
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
