Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
