I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Im part way to drunk.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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