You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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