So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
