Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
