I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
