community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize