The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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