That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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