420 ftw
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Randomize
