Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
