My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
