The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
