Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
