This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
