You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
