I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
be right there i have to get my cape
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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