i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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