just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
