Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize