I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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