Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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