wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Randomize
