dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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