Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
