so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
