The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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