I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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