It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
