I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
