Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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