he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
