why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
