People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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