Define "chronic" masturbator.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
how does that bad decision feel?
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