I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
