I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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