then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
