hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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