david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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