About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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