We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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