If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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